The Daddy Handbook: Dating Rules

Share on Reddit0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someoneDigg thisBuffer this pageShare on Google+2Pin on Pinterest23Share on StumbleUpon1Share on Facebook31Share on Tumblr0Tweet about this on Twitter

Steve Moss is a writer and publisher of The Potrero View. You can read his editorials here: http://www.potreroview.net/

The Daddy Handbook: Dating Rules

By Steven J. Moss

“Um Dad..?” my daughter, Sara, said.  She was sitting in the backseat of the car, as we drove home from elementary school.  During the twenty minutes a day we spend in my Mini Cooper, hurling down the 101 freeway, she’s especially loquacious, like a friendly stranger after their third drink at a neighborhood bar.

Dating Rules

“Yeah, pumpkin?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“What is it?” I asked, eyeing her through the rear view mirror.

“I really should talk to mommy about this,” she paused.  “There’s this boy at school who I kind of have a crush on…”

“Uh, huh,” I said, “Everybody gets crushes, sometimes.”

“No, but, what should I do?” she countered, exasperated.  “I knew I should just talk to mom about it.”

Yes, I thought, you should.  “Tell me what the problem is,” I said.

“Well, how do I tell him I like him?  I mean, like like him.”

“You could invite him over for a play date.”  Wrong thing to say, my brain shouted.  I hurried on.  “Or maybe next time we have tickets to something fun, like a concert, or movie, you could ask him if he wants to come along.”

I could see Sara eyeing me, like I was an idiot.  Which of course on this topic, I am.  “The problem is that three other girls also like him.  And Maya said she has dibs.”

“Dibs?” I asked, “You can’t put dibs on a boy.  The boy gets to decide who he wants to be friends with.”

“No, no, she got dibs.  She said it first,” she countered, sounding like a lawyer familiar with schoolyard ordinances.

“Hmm,” I replied.  I searched for something to say.  I came up empty.  For a few moments the car was quiet but for the swooshing sounds of high-speed travel in the background.

Sara broke the silence.  “I don’t think I’m ready yet,” she said.  “I’ll just wait until fifth grade.”

“Sounds good,” I said, battling my desire to pump my fist and shout “Yes!”  “You’ll know when you’re ready.  There’s no hurry.”

The next day after school, we were walking to the Mini.  “It’s going well with my crush.  We’re talking with each other,” she said, in a voice that suggested this was the beginning and the end of the conversation.

“That’s good,” I said.  I got into the car and buckled my seat belt.  We pulled out of the parking lot, and picked up speed.  Sara gazed out the window.  “Can we go to Jackson Park?  I want to play on the monkey bars.”

“Sure,” I said, as we slowed for a traffic light.  We got on the freeway.  “I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”  

26 Comments




  1. That is just so sweet. I was doing a happy dance myself for dad when she said she wasn’t ready! Off to the monkey bars! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Me, too but since then she has grown a bit older so “dad” better get ready. 🙂

      Reply

  2. Aw, this was sweet. My son is not even 2 yet, so I’m no where near this conversation! haha Although I know it goes so fast. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it. I guess try not to laugh or cry. haha

    Reply

    1. I find humor to be helpful.

      Reply

  3. She has million reasons to love her Daddy! Such an adorable date she got!

    Reply

  4. As a mother of two daughters I think we will have many of these conversations. Miss 2.5 already told me on the way home from daycare the other day that she loved one of the boys in her class!

    Reply

  5. having had no parents to give me advice, I relied on my big sister (older by 10 yeas) to give me the correct ways to go about this challenge, and I was lost for a very long time, something I never wanted my own children to go through and it is truly a challenge, I met my husband to be at age 21, we married a year later, We wanted children and had 2 boys followed by a girl followed by a boy, the first 3 are now married and our boys went about the process of asking, by asking for our permission first, then they went to the dads of their intended, I can’t imagine how much they sweated that drive over to their girlfriends home, but the lessons we had taught them made us incredibly proud of them, our daughter also married a fine young man and we now have 4 grandchildren , our second son had a set of identical twin boys, now we are waiting on our last boy, now 25 to pop the question, he has already came to us and we just love her but she has no idea it’s coning how blessed we are…..thanks for reading

    Reply

  6. Oh my heart! So sweet yet I am not ready for this kind of talk but I guess it is important that our kids should feel that they can talk to us about anything, right?

    Reply

    1. Isn’t it fine if it’s just talk?

      Reply

  7. I dread this moment with all our kids but especially girls. You handled it well. Thank you for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest board.

    Reply

  8. This is super sweet!!! I have to say when I have 3 boys all dating age I might lose my mind a little bit but this is super cute

    Reply

  9. My heart skipped a best a little. Oh you dealt with it well, but I’m sooooo not ready for this. Check back with me in a couple of decades and we will see how I feel then 😉

    Reply

  10. Sweet! My daughter always seems to gravitate towards boys. Luckily, it’s just as friends, for now.

    Reply

  11. Oh.. thank you for the good read today! How wonderfully adorable. We’re way past first crushes (our youngest is in 10th grade) and onto actual dating. Her dad’s advice has been, “No dating until you 30 or maybe 40.”

    Lots of luck!
    Stacy

    Reply

    1. Great advice from her dad!

      Reply

  12. What a cute article!

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!

    Reply

    1. Thanks, she is sweet with a bit of sass thrown in for good measure.

      Reply

  13. This is so sweet and scary at the same time. I don’t know if I will ever be ready for these conversations with my daughter. Thank God I have some time since she is only 3 years old. 🙂

    Reply

    1. It’s good to start thinking about it now. 🙂 My daughter’s first crush was in kindergarten.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.