6 Ways To Raise Self-Confident Kids With Positive Parenting
“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – Dalai Lama
Raising Self-Confident Kids!
Ask 10 parents what the correct way is to raise a child and you’ll get 10 completely different answers. Some advocate for free-range parenting—a hands-off approach where they let their kids make mistakes, maybe get a little hurt, and ultimately learn from those experiences. Others stand by the more hands-on helicopter parenting—guiding their children through every choice and carefully guiding them throughout their developing years.
There’s no one right answer on how to best raise your child (no matter how much sometimes you wish there were). But if there’s one thing every parent can agree on, it’s that they want to raise their child to have self-confidence.
If your child is self-confident, they’re more able to overcome bullies, peer pressure, and whatever challenges life throws at them. Cultivating your child’s self-confidence is a big responsibility for parents. No pressure, right? Here are a few tips on raising self-confident children and setting them up to be successful adults.
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Project your own self-confidence.
Kids learn how to walk by watching people put one foot in front of the other. They learn how to talk by listening to conversations. And they learn how to be self-confident kids and have high self-esteem by seeing their parents demonstrate that in their homes.
Children are influenced less by words and more by what they see. If they see you tackling challenges with confidence instead of avoiding difficult issues, they’re going to grow up thinking that’s how they should act in tough situations.
This doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be strong all the time—it’s actually helpful for them to see you struggle and then overcome difficult problems. Raising a self-confident child starts with developing self-confidence in yourself.
Let them try to do things themselves as they become self-confident kids!
It may be easier and quicker (and cleaner) to pick out your kid’s clothes in the morning or to cook a meal by yourself. But children learn by doing things themselves. Let your kid be involved in small tasks around the house to help them feel capable and learn how to be responsible.
Make sure you’re also letting them know how much you appreciate their help and verbally praise them when they do things correctly. Letting them be more involved instead of making all the decisions yourself may make mornings a little slower or the kitchen dirtier. But it helps them grow their confidence.
Self-confident kids know your love is 100 percent unconditional.
Throughout their adult years, children will experience a love that’s fleeting, fake, or conditional. Let them know that their parents and their family’s love is unconditional. That they don’t have to act a certain way for you to love them and be there for them.
Mistakes happen. If they think that if (and when) they make a mistake, they’ll lose your love and affection, they’ll be less willing to go out of their bubble of safety. They’ll start to lose confidence in their choices and themselves.
When they do inevitably make a mistake, don’t pull away from them. Avoid blaming them, criticizing them, or undermining their self-esteem. Let them know a mistake is a learning moment. And that while you may have to discipline them, you will love them no matter what happens.
Let them be creative!
Showing that you’re accepting and proud of their creativity, however wacky it is, will help their self-confidence grow. Cultivating your child’s creativity from a young age will help them in every aspect of their adult lives.
You can encourage their creativity by hanging their artwork on the fridge door, praising the mismatched outfit they picked out, or by working on a craft project together. Let them know it’s ok to be a little different and that their thoughts and creativity matter.
Help them create healthy attachments to parental figures.
As your kid grows, they’ll spend less time with you. They’ll start going to school, playing at friends’ houses, and eventually leave the house. But when they’re still young and slowly gaining that independence, a lot of kids struggle with separation anxiety. Helping them overcome that anxiety will help them gain more self-confidence.
Separation anxiety in young children is a normal part of a lot of children’s development. It can stem from environmental factors like the death of a family member, a global pandemic, or even a family history of mental health issues.
If your child has some separation anxiety, there are ways you can help them overcome it and gain self-confidence. Some techniques include letting them know you will still be there for them at the end of the school, getting them excited about doing activities by themselves, and praising them for being brave when they leave for the day.
Don’t worry too much.
Making a conscious effort to build your child’s self-confidence is one of the best things you can do to raise a healthy and happy adult. There may be times where you snap at them when you get annoyed, or they scrape a knee when you give them a longer leash. But that doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent or crushed their self-confidence—it’s all a part of being a parent and raising a child.
Building confidence is a lifelong process. And if you’re trying your best to be a good parent, more likely than not you’re going to raise a wonderful, self-assured, and confident child.